Candles
May the Lord continue to watch over and take care of you, mother. You will be dearly missed and loved by many. <3
I have written a poem for you Mum and just what you mean to me.
Seven Years Since
It’s been seven years since you have passed,
Our time on earth, nothing is forever or lasts.
However, your essence has now become mine.
I’ve learned about God through you over time.
You have witnessed me fail in so many things,
But you knew, just what perseverance brings.
My passion for music, love and God is brewing.
My journey of past, present, future is renewing.
Life is changing for better but started with you,
Bringing me into this world and followed through.
You loved me with all your heart, protective of me,
Knowing the world was harsh, I did get to see.
You conditioned my mind from a very young age,
From morals, education and manners in each phase.
Reading biblical stories with the power of prayer,
With a growing love for God, making me aware.
I become more and more like you every single day,
Understanding life and things you always did say.
Have compassion, empathy, be selfless to others.
I’m grateful to God to have had you as my mother.
November 19th, 2024 - Rak Ganga
Lately, I've been missing you alot. May the Lord continue to keep you at peace and take care of you until one day we meet again. You are missed and loved by many.
Love always.
You will always be forever with me in my heart, mind and soul. I will never forget the ways you have taught me, the traditions we lived by and having the Lord in our life.
I will always be thankful for having the world's greatest mother! I love you Mum and may the Lord be with you until the rest of us can be with you too!
You told me your favorite season was Autumn. I know a song and music video you liked was November Rain by Guns N Roses and I listen to it every now and then. I recap the times you and I would be sitting together watching it. That song always filled me with emotion. Not because of the story of it, I don't know why. Now that you're not with me, it just fills me with more emotion.
My relationship with God has strengthened over the last 4 years. I think you would have loved that I've become closer to God. I feel him at times. He speaks to me sometimes through quotes I read, music I listen to and the beauty and love I find in many things other people might not always find. God tells me you send me your love and that you love me very much.
Outside of my relationship with God. I feel out of place, like I don't belong or fit in. I miss you, asking for me. I miss you telling me, "Rak, I haven't seen you all day, come chat with me." and we would spend hours talking. You would sit on your bed, I would sit across from you on Dad's bed. We would talk about the life, the good, the bad and you always comforted me. You would hold my hand or rub my arm as your way of sharing your gentleness towards me.
We would laugh, joke, make faces. You valued my feelings and made me feel like I was a true human being when everyone else made me feel like a freak or no one special. People who used to call here for you and then speak with me, I felt I was family to them but now that you are gone, everyone else is too.
Today is just not a good day for me, I keep breaking up in tears every few words I type. It will get better. My Dad came and gave me a hug. He said the Lord will strengthen me and I believe that too. Today is just a vulnerable day for me.
I pray for you, Mum as always. You're in my thoughts. Your photo from July 2015 smiling/laughing is my wallpaper on my laptop. I sometimes wave or say out loud, "I love you Mum." or "I miss you Mum." sometimes I talk to the picture. It may sound outrageous but it's my way of feeling connected to you. I see you every day and you will always be close to my heart. <3
On November 24th, 2017 during the funeral, I told everyone that we should treasure a moment that we spent with you. Think about the inspiration that you gave us in that conversation or time we had with you and apply it to our lives. I do that every day, Mum. My Father and I see you in myself and my actions every day. I honor all that you did and I carry out the actions that you once did for the people I cross paths with.
You were my greatest influence and your spirit will always live within me. I love you Mum and you will always be missed but you will always be praised for the differences you made in our lives. May you rest peacefully with God and his angels. *HUGS* <3
Today is two years since you had passed away,
Still, it feels like it was just yesterday.
My heart aches for you after all this time,
Most days are fair, but you were my sunshine.
I feel unsafe in my environment around me,
It's worse now since I've injured my knee.
My family relatives no longer reach out,
Talking to myself mostly, alone no doubt.
Mum, You were right in all that you had said,
Predetermining the future, hanging my head.
I cry with thoughts of my youth with you,
Fulfilling your requests today, staying true.
My feelings suppressed, no rights to express,
I am filled with fear, my heart is a mess.
Without you, I am lost and wish I could die,
I have nothing left, just tears in my eyes.
I don't hate myself or my life, just in pain,
Not having you to hold me, I feel so drained.
God is my witness to see what happens to me,
One day it will be over, soon with you to be.
For now, I do my very best in all what I can,
Day by day, I am working on my future plan.
Whatever time I have left, I take all account,
With God and life, I will achieve great amounts.
I love you Mum and although you cannot read this poem, I am sure God is reciting it to you for me. I miss you and know you cannot return but I know one day I will join you and God in the heavens. Although I have my dark days, I am working on myself and my future in little bits. God is my greatest relationship and I know I am worthy of his love even if I don't have anyone else to love me the way you did when you were here. There was so much of God in you and I am so honored that you were my mother and my best friend in my life *HUGS* Rak
