Obituary of Paulette Sinclair

Paulette Marie Sinclair 1952 – 2024

Artist, actor, friend, mother, grandmother, true companion. If you knew her, you know that each of those words contains a multitude of universes. Also sister to Cheryl, Joseph (Cheryl – a different one), and David.

Died peacefully at home (not actually as much fun as it sounds) in the company of her family – Alex, D'Arcy, Sarah, Yves, Brittany, Hayden.

Donations could be made to Doctors Without Borders.

What follows are notes for her eulogy. Paulette slipped slowly away from us over several years, under the auspices of corticobasal degeneration, a form of dementia. She remained kind, gentle, and loving throughout those years of decline, and was very easy to care for, though we are very grateful to to many friends, as well as PSWs Kaila, Melani, and Aster,  who provided excellent care to Paulette and to me for the past few years:

Friends and family, we are gathered here today to return Paulette to the universe that gave her to us.

Paulette was not particularly religious, but she was spiritual. She prayed often, in a manner of meditation. She spoke not to a being, but rather the universe as a whole, or the creative force within that universe. She wanted, I think, to be guided by some higher power, but never to judge others by precepts ascribed  to any form of god.

She was passionate, kind, loving, graceful, forgiving. She leaves behind some beautiful drawings, paintings, stained glass windows, theatrical performances, a million memories in a thousand hearts. I will not try to describe what she meant to me, but she made me a much better person, and I am grateful for all the hard work she put into effecting that transformation. She was a great mother and a fine friend. I will miss her to the end of my days.

And I will close with a few short pieces of her own writing:

Aged

There is no yearning anymore.

It is not because I am dead

But content

There is no bleeding anymore.

It is not because I bled dry

But because you have cauterized the wound

I do not panic.

I do not fear.

I do not weep at night.

I used to.

My love is

Our love is

Our life is

Forever and

Kind

Over and over and over

And it turned over

And turned into love

Here's a little journal entry about her own dreams and aspirations. There are references to two of her early theatre roles:

That’s the glory of it, really. Nothing is truly lost. I’m only mid-life; I can now take all those partials, all those plans, those half-finished dreams and schemes and still (albeit by the skin of my teeth in some cases) bring them to fruition. Dreams don’t have to be absolute, all the way. They can be a full stepping into the shoes, into the spotlight, a thorough taste, identifying, understanding, and then leaving. It doesn’t have to be forever to satisfy. Being held up and spun around in a purple light by my “midnight man” was any young girl dancer’s dream fulfilled. It didn’t have to be forever. Being a physical, sensual, acrobatic circus partner – under the sun and stars – of two beautiful, athletic young men is something most women can only dream about. My hopes of being a good mom may only happen in truly shining ways periodically, but maybe those moments will be the ones D’Arcy can carry in his heart.

And again from her journal, when she was frustrated by a director chopping  many of her lines:

I want to celebrate, do justice, to the beauty of the costumes and set, and power the lines I have left with the ones that will be cut. Just as I found that I could still take the energy and emotion of lines that were cut and put it into the remaining lines as sub-text, so too can one take beauty that has been removed and let it shine through what remains. That may have something to do with elderly women sometimes still being called physically beautiful. Partly because they ARE but also partly because they are powered by what was. So much is powered by what was. That is why death does not end, is not a stopping of, a life. A life is much bigger and longer-lasting than that. It’s all quite amazing really. So that’s what power is. It is NOT me. It is when I allow myself to channel all the others, all the power of those gone before.

Now she too has gone before. We leave her here to dissolve back into stardust, hoping that somewhere - free of this beautiful, exhausted, twisted, fragile body - she is dancing across the universe.

Please share a memory, photo or sentiment of Paulette's life here at her complimentary memorial legacy page.

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